Fundamentalist Pagans are Humourless Clods
This comes via Garrett, who comments “haha”
PAGANS have pledged to perform “rain magic” to wash away cartoon character Homer Simpson who was painted next to their famous fertility symbol - the Cerne Abbas giant.
The 17th century chalk outline of the naked, sexually aroused, club-wielding giant is believed by many to be a symbol of ancient spirituality….
Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for The Pagan Federation, said: “It’s very disrespectful and not at all aesthetically pleasing.
“We were hoping for some dry weather but I think I have changed my mind. We’ll be doing some rain magic to bring the rain and wash it away.”
When did Pagans get Federated? How come so many of them have turned into humourless fundamentalists? I always pictured Pagans as pretty laid back, but apparently they’ve embraced Sharia Law.
Dear Simpsons Movie Marketing Team: if you would like to place an image of Homer Simpson or any other character from the upcoming film next to any similar image from Gnostic history, please feel free. It’s hilarious, and I have a strong feeling most if not all of my coreligionists would agree.
P.S. I have an excellent and incredibly effective rain spell: wait a little while. If it doesn’t work immediately, wait some more. It gets excellent results!
