Summer Harvest

Check out this fantastic online gallery of ouija board art. The navigation is kind of wonky– you have to click around to be sure you see everything. I can’t remember where I found this link, but if it was you, please take credit in the comments.

Then, when you’re done there, spend some time over at the online Talking Board Museum, an excellent collection of talking boards from past and present, including an interactive online version. Fun!

I have had some amazing and fascinating experiences with talking boards. I can categorically state, from experience, that there is “something” to them. There are various camps as to why the ouija works; anyone interested in the subject is likely familiar with the familiar old ’spiritualism versus automatism’ trope that suggests that the ouija pointer (called a “planchette”) moves either due to the influence of spirits or due to unconcious muscular motions on the part of the users.

Based on my experience, I don’t find either answer satisfying. I remember a session in which the board “quoted” multiple passages from multiple books on a bookshelf, listing the page numbers and locations of the passages in question. If it’s nothing more than muscular motion or unconscious control by the persons with their fingers on the planchette, then the connection between the movement of the pointer and the deep memory of the person who had read the books is remarkable in and of itself. Imagine what an amazing tool this method would be in the study of mnemonics. Indeed, if we were to find that 100% of the experiences recorded via the Ouija were categorically based on information dredged up from the deep unconsciouses of the participants, the board loses none of its power as a way by which we can “tap into” the realms that lie between the macro- and microcosms. Consider the similar methods used by John Dee and Edward Kelley to develop Enochian Magic.

Then again, maybe it’s spooks or demons. The problem with the ’spirit’ theory is, of course, that ninety percent of what is produced by your average ouija board is gobbledegook– seemingly random patterns of letters and numbers. One would think any “spirit” powerful enough to move a physical object would at least be able to produce one or two intelligible sentences. The answers to questions are often already known to the participants, which is why the Ouija makes such a great parlour game and is most often used to determine the name of the boy most likely to ask you to the prom, or other such stuff.

Anyone who has used the board also knows the old trope about “never trusting the spirits.” This is certainly valuable advice, as most information gleaned from the board will be of little use. Even if the information seems “good,” or profound, ask yourself why a disembodied spirit would be hanging around delivering information to you specifically. Or, if you hold to the theory that the ouija board taps into your subconscious, ask yourself how the information presented could possibly have come from within you (especially if the information is profane or sexual in nature, as it often is).

For what it’s worth, I have had a great deal of interesting information delivered via the board when I have employed the simple rules of Gematria to the aforementioned long lines of gobbledegook. Again, this isn’t to say that some entity planned out the exact numerical value of a long string of letters and numbers in order to deliver a message. Rather, this method is almost like using the Tarot or other forms of divination; the importance of the results must be determined by the experiencer, and they should almost never be taken literally.

Entire spiritual and philosophical movements have sprung whole-born from the fingers of Ouija users. Most prominent would have to be the “Michael” books by Chelsea Yarbro, based on “messages” delivered via talking board from a “reunited Mid-Causal Plane Entity of more than a thousand individual souls.” The group downplays that the “messages” in question were delivered via the Ouija, and their teachings are the fairly typical mixture of profundity and platitudes familiar to students of everything from “Channeling” to UFO Contactee cults.

All in all, I highly recommend trying out the Ouija. If you’re interested, here are the steps I recommend following for the best results and the least likelyhood of going insane or tapping into something “darker” than you can handle.

1. Procure a board and planchette. Contrary to Parker Brothers’ marketing campaigns, the best board is homemade, preferably by one of the participants of the session. Anything will work; if you’re trying on the cheap, use the shiny side of a piece of posterboard. Write the alphabet, the numbers 0-9, yes, no and maybe, and dust it with flour or baby powder. You can then use a bottlecap or a shotglass as your planchette.

2. The nonsense about how doing it alone is dangerous is just that: nonsense. The fact is, it doesn’t usually work if you’re alone, and it’s easy to freak yourself out. It’s recommended that at least two people are present, though it’s especially nice if a non-participant is available to observe, because…

3. Everything should be recorded in a notebook, and it’s helpful if someone without fingers on the planchette can do so. This is especially important if you’re going to use the Gematria method of discerning meanings, but it’s also useful for catching impish spooks at tricks and double-blinds when they try to lie to you.

4. Atmosphere is important! It can certainly be done anywhere, but it’s best in a dark room with candle light. Yes, you will be augmenting the psychological affects, but that’s okay.

5. When you’ve decided who will be using the planchette, have the users lightly place one or two fingers on the pointer. Move it back and forth a few times on purpose, as this will help you distinguish the difference between the voluntary and involuntary movement of the planchette.

6. When you’re ready to begin, ask, vocally, “Is anyone there?” Wait a few moments. If nothing happens, ask again. Ask three times, and if nothing has happened by the third time, it means you should wait an hour or so before trying again.

7. Most likely, the planchette will begin to move after the first or second try. It will likely move erratically at first, perhaps in a circle or spiral or figure-8. Eventually, it will point to yes or no, or spell something. The session can now begin in earnest.

8. Ask the “entity” its name before anything else. It may well lie, but it’s helpful to have a frame of reference.

9. When dealing with proper names delivered by the “entity,” or with long strings of letters and numbers, try calculating the numerical value of the name via Gematria. A reference book like 777 and Other Qabalistic Writings of Aleister Crowley may prove invaluable as a tool for determining whether an entity is sinister or benign.

10. Don’t take guff from spooks. If you get the wrong kind of “energy,” you mighht end up getting sworn at, threatened, lied to and cajoled. Regardless of whether you think this is a physical entity or something subconcious being dredged out of a participant, the proper response to this silliness is to give as good as you get. If something says “fuck off, I will kill you all” (something I’ve actually seen), just say “no you won’t, you’re just some air that can talk” (or something similar, anyhow), and cut off contact with the energy that’s being a jerk. Remember that energies that contact you via the talking board are so weak and pathetic that they need to use parlour tricks to communicate.

11. *Do not stop using the board without dismissing the entity.* Using a talking board is like performing a little spirit-summoning ritual. By asking “is anyone there,” you have invited something in. If you cut off contact with that thing before you’ve asked it to leave, it will stick around….

Most of all, have fun, don’t take it too seriously, and enjoy!