Summer Harvest

I’ve always wanted to pick up this series, and now seems like as good a time as any. Originally featured on fantastic planet, The Premiseless Imperative is a de facto methodology by which anyone (including you, dear reader) can discover the way to health, happiness and inner peace. Let’s call it the Wisdom of the Bastards, or the Way of the Broken Lightbulb, the Ultimate Wait-Loss Plan– follow these steps, to the letter, and I guarantee that you will learn more about yourself and probably achieve enlightenment on the way. It’s independent practice writ wild with a touch of Gnosticism and a heavy dose of good old-fashioned Hoodoo. The author takes no responsibility for any side effects experienced while following this course.
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THE PREMISELESS IMPERATIVE

or

RIGHT THERE UNDER YOUR GNOSIS:

How to Save the Entire Universe by Saving Your Entire Self

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INTRODUCTION:

Okay, it’s time for this to happen. Maybe you’re looking for some kind of “Grand Truth,” some reason for being, some answers to the Big Questions. Maybe you’re dissatisfied with the way your life has been going lately and you’re interested in creating something of value within your daily routine. Maybe you want to be successful, confident, well-liked, less anxious or depressed. Or, maybe you’re simply looking for a greater proportion of satisfaction or happiness within the life you’ve already chosen for yourself. It could be any one of these things, or a combination of them, or something completely different.

(If you’re not searching for anything or looking for some answers to some major questions or trying to discover Truth in some form or another, then you don’t need to keep going. Stop reading this and go spend some time with your dog or child or friends or family or something.)

Regardless of what you’re searching for, it boils down to an absence, a void, some missing information that you assume you lack. Whether you want to be spiritually enlightened, culturally successful, or simply content, there’s something that’s blocking your way. That thing may be very real and very dangerous, or it may be completely imaginary. This little treatise is going to try to help you get rid of said thing and attain whatever you’re looking for by helping you enlighten yourself.

My basic premise: a lot of so-called “systems” actually put a lot of *unnecessary stuff* between the perceiver (you) and the desired perception (gnosis!). Sure, they all work in their own way, but a lot of times instead of clearing the path, they stick stuff out in front of you that you have to climb over. Now, anybody is welcome to try any Path whatsoever, and might greatly benefit from it. But, if you try this one out, I can guarantee at least one or two serious revelations, and it’s possible you might even figure out how to help save the universe!

To that effect, each section of this series will contain homework, actual exercises that require you to do them. Simply thinking about them won’t work. I promise none of them will be terribly difficult or time-consuming.

Let’s face it: people get turned off when they’re told that they have to work for enlightenment. They think, “gee, I’d like to experience gnosis, but there’s so much to *read*” or “golly, I sure would like to get enlightened like those Zen masters, but if you have to meditate so much, forget it!” That’s why I’m hoping this little series will illustrate that if you do it right, if you actually *do these exercises,* then it’s actually pretty easy to get enlightened. If you don’t, I can’t help you.

Now, before we start, let’s just wait one god-danged minute. I’m not some genius who has some kind of mystical secrets. I’m just a guy who has some opinions and wants to try to help people as much as possible. I’m no great enlightened saint. I use cursewords, and I’ll be using some in here. I’m a real asshole sometimes who can be crude and insulting. I like to drink wine more than I should, I don’t get enough exercise, I talk way too much and there are people out there who really don’t like me.

I’m also not going to be talking about “magick” or “NLP” or psychedelics or eightfold circuits or anything silly like that. I think Leary was a pretentious jerk, Bucky Fuller was a confusing robot, and Crowley played a huge, useless joke on us all. If you want to cast spells and communicate with the Holy Guardian Angel or learn to read body language or take DMT, hey, nobody’s stopping you. I wholeheartedly support people for whom these different paths work, but it sure seems to me like they put a bunch of stuff between you and God.

I prefer the straightest, quickest path. If that’ your bag, you might like what goes on here. If not, if you’re more attracted to systems that use other kinds of reality maps, by all means, seek them out. My system is no better than any other similar system, *provided you do the exercises.* If you want to get enlightened and are interested in magick, learn about Chaos Magick or Thelema and start doing rituals. If you want to get enlightened and are interested in psychedelics, hook up with Leary’s crew and start ingesting psychotropics. If you want to get enlightened and are interested in Buddhism, read some Roshi Kapleau and start meditating. I can PROMISE you that if you participate in any of these systems and PRACTICE them, daily, you WILL achieve enlightenment.

This is going to be a crash-course in punk rock Gnosticism, gnosis-or-bust. This ain’t no Valentinian Gnosticism. This ain’t no Sethian Gnosticism. This ain’t no silly psycho-deliac neo-Gnosticism. This ain’t no sacramental Gnosticism. I love all of those paths, and encourage exploration thereof, but they ain’t this. What is this? This is pure Path of Radical Inquiry, pure sit-down, shut-the-hell-up-and-get-enlightened-or-stop-trying Gnosticism.

Some questions from you to me:

Q: Say, what the heck are you selling here, anyhow? What the devil is this “gnosis” thing, and what is enlightenment, and why should I even bother looking for it?

A: Well, if you’not already interested in getting enlightened, we’re not here for you. If you’re okay without it, that is totally awesome, because it means you’re pretty satisfied and contented with yourself, which is something we’re all trying to get to. Congratulations!

But, if you’re interested in knowing (yes, *knowing*!) who you are, where you came from, where you’re going and the role you play in the Grand Scheme of Things, then boy howdy is gnosis the thing for you! Gnosis is the direct experience and knowledge of God, arrived at through the direct experience and knowledge of yourself.

Q: Say, what the heck are your qualifications for even writing this?

A: I don’t really have any. You can stop reading, which is fine, or you can trust me and keep reading and do the exercises and see if they work. Honestly, writing this stuff is no big deal for me because it’s constantly on my mind and written on my soul. I’m not the one who’s going to be working, here– *you* are. So if you don’t trust that I know what I’m talking about, then that’s fine– go find somebody you do trust!

Q: Say, I object to your use of the patriarchal word “God” and/or your Christian Gnostic background. Christianity is a terrible, bloodthirsty, awful religion and/or Jesus never existed and/or he made babies with Mary Magdalene and/or he was actually a pagan deity.

A: Oh, grow the hell up.

Q: Say, I disagree with about half of what you’ve written so far and want to point out your errors to you!

A: That’s fine, go for it. I most likely won’t respond, though, because I’m too busy doing stuff.

Otherwise, feel free to post away in the ‘comments’ section with suggestions, criticisms, introductions, requests for clarifications, or progress reports.

Up next– If You Want To Be Saved, Admit That You Are A Sinner